Are you going through a breakup? It sucks, I know! It feels like someone literally ripped your heart out of your chest and stomps on it with every memory, picture, or song adding salt to your open and fresh wound. Ouch! Luckily, this is a temporary state and the bad times won’t last forever. With these 6 tips, you’ll be able to handle your breakup with grace and start the healing process so you can stop hurting and start living your best life again!
Breakup Step #1: Cut off all communication
Social media makes it especially hard to escape little reminders of the person who broke your heart and left a void in your life. Every post, tweet, and story makes it difficult to begin the healing process. Aside from social media, it’s also important to cut communication. Stay strong; don’t succumb to your weakness or loneliness. Don’t call, don’t text, don’t email!
You need time to heal and an out of sight out of mind mentality is the way to go. Block them, unfollow them, mute them- whatever it takes to create a safe space to heal.
Breakup Step #2: Allow yourself to feel sad
Breakups are hard, so allow you to feel sad for a minute. If you’re like me, I pretend to be strong and unbothered instead of dealing with my hurt. Then months later a scent will smack me right in the face, and I’m balling my eyes out at some memory because I didn’t deal with my hurt months ago.
Put on your favorite sweats, order some greasy food, pop on The Notebook and allow yourself time to cry over a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. Trust me it’s good for the soul. Don’t you feel guilty or ashamed of your pain, experience the hurt so you can move on.
Breakup Step #3: Don’t romanticize your relationship
We tend to romanticize past relationships as the breakup progresses and we forget the reasons that led to the breakup, to begin with. Chances are things weren’t all roses and rainbows if you broke up right?
Take some time to write down the low points of your past relationships and identify how it made you feel. Make a list of the things that brought you down in the relationship. Now that you have these solid data points make a list of your non-negotiables for your next relationship. No relationship or experience is ever a waste so learn from it and move on with some added wisdom in your pocket.
Breakup Step #4: Stay busy!
Stay busy, so you don’t allow your loneliness to get you down after a breakup. Think of all the free time you’re going to acquire now that you won’t be spending it with your ex. You’ve already given yourself time to wallow so now it’s time to put on your big girl pants and conquer the new world ahead.
Breakup Step #5: Don’t suppress your feelings
It’s so important to about your feelings. That’s what friends are for. How are you going to get through a breakup without your friends?! Vent to the people that you trust and have your best interests at heart. If your friends aren’t cutting it for whatever reason, there’s no shame in turning to a therapist or counselor!
I’ve been to a counselor after breaking up with a verbally abusive boyfriend, and it was the best thing I did. It allowed me to turn to a trained professional with my emotions and broken heart and I am a stronger woman because of it.
Breakup Step #6: Do you girl!
Congratulations you’ve made it to the last step of your breakup! Your heart is healed, and you are a strong badass woman ready to take on the world. You’re now ready to get yourself right again holistically from the inside out. Your mind and heart are healed so take time to work on you. Get that revenge body, take up a new hobby, buy some new clothes, the world is your oyster. Now go get that happiness and glow back girl! I’m proud of you.